Pinned toot

After Ratatouille was released in theaters, it became law in 38 states that all traps must have tiny propane grills and spice racks placed next to them so as to distract/spare any rats with any cooking aptitude. It’s referred to as “Remy’s Law” in most places and was the direct outcome of an organized, nationwide letter writing campaign.

Pinned toot

Stop eating what you're eating and throw it out the window right now! It'll be fun!

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crazy summer fever dream 

There was a rash of mass shootings throughout the world and it turns out all the guns were provided by America and then this mental illness took hold where people would give up and stop breathing and die so people figured out how to make improvised respirators with spare electronics to force each other to keep breathing

My number one tip to convince ladies to do sex on you is to drive a nice car

I am a product of heretofore unknown wild energies and curses

From the makers of office supplies: Office Supplements. They help your office get a boner.

Alc 

The distinction online between the content created by a drunk millennial and a sober boomer is so so small

I got some buns, they are holding my legs on my body, they’re great

The greatest interactive multimedia experience you’ve ever seen, now on a 3 CD-ROM collectors’ set

My love languages are incomprehensible ululating and late 2000s reality TV

Seriously considering buying tickets for the Voodoo Glow Skulls

You bet your ass I’m back on my sitting on a bus bullshit

Success by choice
Moist by medical condition
Angry by politics
Gently rolled in rice flour by recipe
Legend by destiny

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Toot! A Jason Scheirer Instance

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